Welcome to this website, the product of thousands of people working decades, if not lifetimes, on computer science research, as well as me clicking a few times one morning.

I write some funny things and some not-so-funny things, for places like McSweeney’s, Gothamist, Harvard Magazine, CAFE, and others.

Not So Humorous



After Multiple Suicides, Columbia University Students Demand Changes

Harvard Magazine

Clinton Campaigners Reflect on a Lost Election

The New Republican Mavericks of Cambridge


Link to Author Page



McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

The Biblical Tale of Noah’s Ark Revised to Account for Climate Change

Keep Out of Our Shining City on a Hill

Who Said It: A Trump Cabinet Pick, or Shelob, the Giant Spider from The Lord of the Rings?

Let Us Raise a Flagon of Eggnog to Remember Those We Lost in the War on Christmas

How to Drain the Swamp in 9 Easy Steps

National Lampoon

The Aliens from Arrival Review the Oscar Nominees for Visual Effects


5 Times Mike Pence Probably Wanted To Hang Out With Donald Trump But The President Said No

6 Potential Sources For Leaks Out Of Donald Trump’s White House

6 Amazing Russian Cottages Where Michael Flynn Can Live Now

5 Ways That Congressional Democrats Can Beat Republicans That Definitely Aren’t Just the Plot of The Incredibles

5 Ways to Pump Yourself Up Just Like Sean Spicer

8 Times Mike Pence Couldn’t Spit Out Sour Food Because He’s The Vice President Now

Finally, A Recipe For Toast That Won’t End In Your Entire House Burning Down Like Mine Did