Welcome to this website, the product of thousands of people working decades, if not lifetimes, on computer science research, as well as me clicking a few times one morning. I have written for publications like McSweeney’s, Gothamist, and Harvard Magazine, and you can find a selection of some of my work in the list below.




After Multiple Suicides, Columbia University Students Demand Changes

Harvard Magazine

Studying Zika

Clinton Campaigners Reflect on a Lost Election

The New Republican Mavericks of Cambridge


Link to Author Page



McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

The Three Stooges in Curly Has No Health Insurance Because of His Pre-Existing Condition

I’m Wes Anderson, and I’m Directing this FBI Investigation into Russia and the Trump Campaign

The Biblical Tale of Noah’s Ark Revised to Account for Climate Change

Keep Out of Our Shining City on a Hill

Who Said It: A Trump Cabinet Pick, or Shelob, the Giant Spider from The Lord of the Rings?

Let Us Raise a Flagon of Eggnog to Remember Those We Lost in the War on Christmas

How to Drain the Swamp in 9 Easy Steps

National Lampoon

I Swear to God, If I Hear “Be Our Guest” in this Castle One More Time I’m Going to Kill Something

The Aliens from Arrival Review the Oscar Nominees for Visual Effects


A selection of the articles I’ve written:

5 Times Mike Pence Probably Wanted To Hang Out With Donald Trump But The President Said No

6 Potential Sources For Leaks Out Of Donald Trump’s White House

5 Ways That Congressional Democrats Can Beat Republicans That Definitely Aren’t Just the Plot of The Incredibles

5 Places Where The CIA Is Spying On Me, According To Wikileaks